


Payback

by austinscarlett



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Revenge Sex, au where dave is not a sex god, it's really fluffy and john and dave are huge dweebs, oh second person yeah that too, slight dave/rose but not really???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/austinscarlett/pseuds/austinscarlett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave says John makes weird sounds in the sack. John says Dave does, too. Rose is the referee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Payback

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh so this is really delayed but this is for michaelchilton and their beautiful art of http://michaelchilton.tumblr.com/post/33833420600 this!!! ps this is vanilla as fuck and might be poorly written because i only read it over once gomen
> 
> edit: the link is kind of temperamental so here! (from my porn blog) http://homosexualteens.tumblr.com/post/34033708316/vrillyhoodis-i-need-to-stop

Most of the time, you didn't care about revenge, unless it involved pranks. Really, prank wars would sprout between you and your dad, but sometimes either of the Striders would humor you. Bucket of water, pie in the face. Pile of smuppets, vandalized ass cheeks and Facebook pictures. 

Since your history of practical jokes was so substantial, you'd feel fine claiming yourself the king. Problem is, you think you've been dethroned. 

It's not like someone pulled the ultimate prank on you. You don't even know if this one was a prank!! Still, you feel like the crown that had been set upon your head had its jewels picked out, melted and turned into a giant trophy for suckiest prankster. 

It all started when Dave was fucking you. This was a totally normal thing! It's not like he made fun of your wiener and then decided to put his wiener in your butt and then touch your wiener. It had nothing to do with wieners at all. 

Well, wieners were 99.9999% excluded from the problem, but there was a little bit of wienering going on. Dave's wiener was in your butt, and his hand was on your wiener. Wiener, wiener, wiener. That's sure a lot of wieners when it's not about wieners! 

With the telltale wieners out of the way, you can get to the real problem: Dave's taunting about the noises you make. And the worst thing was that every time you tried to tell him that he sounds worse, he made you make more stupid noises again. Dave was kind of a dick sometimes, but then again, so were you. 

Now, here's where your plan for payback comes in. You may have been a tad bit drunk when you came up with this, but you're sober now! Sober, and seducing Dave. With Dave's sister right out outside. Hahahahaha. 

So, you were making out with Dave a little bit. Or a lot a bit. You were topping on the floor. You could say you were topping on the floor to feed Dave's irony schtick, but in reality, you both rolled off the bed and Dave accidentally pulled your nipple too hard, so he let you be on top on the floor.

Here you two are, making out. Both of you already abandoned your clothes before you abandoned the mattress. You and Dave are laughing a bit because the two of you know that the either of you aren't the best sexers. Sexees? Sexual partners? Sexual partners. You both know that you guys aren't the best sexual partners. 

It was pretty awkward your first time with Dave, actually. As much as Dave gloated that he was a total sex god, he fumbled around a lot and got pretty nervous. You found it cute. You still do. Dave didn't, so you both laugh to make him feel better. 

God, you keep getting so off topic! Anyway, you were smiling, and chuckling, and now groping around for a condom and some lube. Luckily, Dave was pretty much pushed up against the night stand, so you were able to grab the stuff quickly. All the while, Dave was macking on your neck, and his lips were making the noise like when you blow on a baby's belly, so you keep a small rumble of laughter going because you don't want to be thinking about babies when you have an erection!! 

Alright, so you've got the lube in hand, a condom, and Dave's complaining. At least there's no weird baby noises. "As much as I'd love having my back pushed against the knobs of the ye old holder of gay sex implements, it'd be cool if you'd back up a bit." 

With Dave partially on your lap, you shuffle back some with a small grumble, to which Dave silences with a kiss. You keep smiling and letting Dave's tongue poke at your lips and you kind of poke his dick and he makes this noise and Rose is hearing all of it. Hahahahaha. 

You've done your fair share of dick poking by the time you ask Dave "Want me to wiggle some fingers in your butt?" The internet really trained you to be a master of seduction. 

Instead of his normal bullshit, Dave says "Fuck yes," and leans back to get the lube you dropped while getting rug burn on your butt (oops). Somehow, you managed to hold on to the condom, opened the packaging, and rolled its contents over your erection.

Dave comes in for one more kiss (he's stupidly sentimental when no one's around) before handing you the lube, then leaning back on his elbows, waiting for you. You give him a smile that goes away as soon as he takes his eyes off your face and concentrates on your fingers. The way he looks kind of sheepish makes you want to not call Rose in. Too bad you're a humungous pulsing hentai dick who loves ~~revenge~~ pranking. 

Time to shove some fingers up a butt. Okay. You can do this. Warm up the lube a bit. Check. Look back up at Dave. Check. Wait for him to realize you're looking at him. Check. Giggle about being a total idiot even though the two of you have fucked each other a grand total of a lot and still laugh if something goes wrong. Check. Actually put the finger in. Check.

Well, that went fairly well. You go slow, like you always do when dealing with Dave. You've got your whole finger in there, so you look up to Dave and he gives you a nod for another one. A little more of the clear still pretty fucking cold liquid and you've added a second finger to the mix. 

Dave's starting to make noises. At first it was only some heavy breathing, but now he's getting into moaning. His sounds peak a little bit when you add a third finger, and you apologize, slowing down until Dave whines for you to go faster. You do, listening to his cries of pleasure until you take them out. Dave is not getting off on just finger fucking today.

Whenever you do this, Dave rambles on in some confused, breathy metaphor, like he was doing now. He watches you slather lube all over your erection. You smile and bring him up into a hug, and then his buns hug your dick and it's a dick-buns hug with a regular person-person hug. Then the dick-buns hug breaks because you ease him down onto you and now he's more clutching and shivering than hugging. 

Lube, condom, meatsword and all, you're fully in Dave. He's shivering, and you might be making some noise, too, but for the most part, you're composed. 

Gently, you start moving, and Dave keeps shuddering and moaning and, okay, wow, he's leaning back now! But that's okay. It gives you a better angle and you hit his prostate pretty soon, creating a new porn shattering record. 

"Rose!" 

Dave's eyes snap open and you hit his prostate again and he makes that really sexy and funny noise. His eyes closes and Rose looms over him.

You guess it's kind of weird that his sister is seeing Dave's dick and she could possibly see yours, but this is revenge. You will get it at all costs. 

Currently, Dave's freaking out and Rose is ominously smiling. You fumble when you try to speak at first, but get it the second go around. It's hard to say things coherently while you're balls deep in a guy. "Hey, Rose, check out this goofy yet totally hot sound I can make Dave do when I hit his prostate." 

Right then, you hit the magical spongy thing of pleasure, and Dave's garbling out something equatable to a keyboard smash: "Ahhggmm - ah!" You go back to a regular tempo, not piercing Dave's G spot. He's still trying to tell Rose to get out, that he doesn't make weird noises!!!

Ignoring his cries (except the moans, gasps, grunts, everything that's not a word), Rose giggles politely, then saying, "You're right about both of those things." She then bends down and starts whispering things into Dave's ear that you can't hear. 

Even though you're excluded from the conversation between brother and sister, you keep fucking Dave, trying to hit his spot again. You get it a few times, adjusting his hips with your hands.  
Then, Dave's cumming, Rose smiling even wider as he does. The sound he makes is amazing. 

Rose stops talking for the most part as you use Dave as more of a fucktoy than a boyfriend. There's a grunt and you say Dave's name and you're done. 

You pull out and oh god that condom feels terrible so you take it off, tie it and toss it on Dave's stomach. He squeals and throws it to the trashcan (he misses).  
Rose smiles one more time, says a "You're welcome, John," and leaves. 

Dave is glaring daggers at you. Katanas. Machetes. Any type of sharp object, his eyes are throwing it at you with better accuracy than the used condom. "What the fuck was that." 

You smile. "Payback."


End file.
